…Or Why 27/6 is the new 24/7
The other evening, my husband and I looked at each other across the dinner table with one of those looks that contains a whole conversation in a single eyebrow. Here’s how the conversation went:
Husband: Are they always like this?
Me: Yes! Why do you think I’m so tired at the end of the day?
What his eyebrow was referring to was the constant barrage of questions coming at us from both sides of the table. Both kids were peppering us with question after question, seemingly at random, and without pause. This is normal.
After our silent eyebrow conversation, I said out loud, “I’ve often wished I had one of those palm clickers that umpires carry so they can count things.” He laughed, knowing I meant that would be the only way to keep track of how many questions came at us in an evening. He said, “You could do it the old fashioned way, with a pen and paper.”
At that, our oldest, who can’t stand to be left out of a conversation, piped up, “What are you talking about? What’s a clicker? And what do you need pen and paper for?”
See what I mean? Rapid fire like that. All. Day. Long.
I hopped up, grabbed my grocery list, a pen, and my kitchen timer. I started it immediately and put down three tally marks for the questions she had just asked as I said, “Nothing honey, I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Then I proceeded to discretely make tally marks for each question that came at us from both girls. After a few minutes it was time to get baths going, so I turned off the timer and added up the marks. There were 27 (and I’m being conservative because I’m pretty sure a couple got past us before we marked them) and the timer read “6:00”. As in minutes. Twenty Seven questions in 6 minutes.
The math is pretty simple. If you extrapolate that number out a bit, it means 270 questions in an hour. Over the course of a normal day (given one hour together in the morning before school, and 6 hours between school and bedtime in the evening) that adds up to…wait, I’m getting my calculator out…1,890 questions. And on the weekends it’s worse. All that time together. All those questions. I’m tired just thinking about it. This is why I look forward to 8am on Monday mornings. I send the kids off to school and look around my empty house. So quiet. No one wants anything, no one wants to know anything. Just blessed silence.
Obviously not all the questions are difficult to answer, or require much thought, but they can’t go unanswered because then I just get more questions. “Mom, did you hear me? Do you know? What would happen if we gave Gigi (the guinea pig) chocolate strawberries? Suddenly one innocent pet care question has turned into three.
People use the phrase “24/7” to mean “every hour of every day” or “at all times” but I’m thinking of campaigning (at least with my other mommy friends) to change the reference to “27/6” because at our house the only constant is the questions. So I hereby deliver to you today the new vocabulary convention of “27/6” which I’m sure will quickly make its way into the urban dictionary.
In honor of this momentous event, I am proud to bring you a sampling of some of the more brain-draining questions that come up in our daily life.
- “Mommy, what does the word ‘toxic’ mean?”
- “Mom, do things ever go wrong in surgeries?” (This was on the eve of her surgery to remove her adenoids.)
- “Mommy, how do giraffes become boys or girls?”
- “What are ‘genetics’? (The follow up to my evasive answer of the previous question.)
- “Mom, what is protein?”
- “Mommy, what if we had these little things that went around our heads, that had flowers on them and were sort of stretchy and sort of not stretchy?” (This was accompanied by a lot of gestures which did nothing to help me understand the concept.)
- “What does it mean to be a ‘newlywed’?”
- “Mommy, can I still believe in mermaids, even if I know that the tooth fairy is really you?”
- And my personal favorite…””What does ‘completely speechless’ mean?”
I remember those days for sure! I kind of miss it…sipping coffee…okay maybe not! Good Luck Meredith!
I know someday I’ll miss these days, but for now I just miss my brain! 🙂
Oh my gosh! Honey and I had the same conversation last week! He asked “are they like this all day long?!” too.
That’s awesome! Glad I’m not the only one.
My nephew Jake used to wear me out with his trademark: “Just one more question please.”
I’m sure his parents appreciated having someone to share the load! Aunts and uncles are the best!
To take the side of the kids (since I’m not a parent and don’t feel exhausted every day), I think questions are fantastic. I love the sense of wonder and curiousity they exude. I love that they don’t think they know everything. I love that they still think they might be able to know everything if they just ask enough questions. I love that they think you know all the answers. I kinda wish I had someone to ask questions of (that wasn’t google) and that I could infuse my tired adult brain with some excitement of discovering the unknown around me.
PS–sorry you’re brain dead.
Actually, I’ve been brain dead for a while, it’s just nice to have someone to blame it on now! I do love that they are curious and enthusiastic. Abby has stopped taking “I don’t know” for an answer. Now she just goes and gets me my phone so I can google it. Darn google.
This is HILARIOUS!! And SOOOO TRUE!! I swear i can’t for the life of me even TRY to silence the questions… and you can then add all the meltdowns, the whining, and the arguments the kids get into fighting over who said what and who gets what and why so and so has more attention and and and…
My daughter got her adenoids out too. Btw. 😉
Thank you! I’m so glad to know I’m not alone! We brain-dead moms gotta stick together or the kids will run us right over. 🙂
Excellent story Meredith.
Reminds me when my daughter was young she would incessantly ask WHY?
I stopped that routine one day with the answer… Cuz they do it in California that way.
I guess that was good enough for her. She never asked again.
That is awesome Bill, I’ll have to try it next time. I’ll let you know how it goes…
This was funny. It reminded me of the days when my daughter and step-daughters were little> The questions came out of nowhere. of course, the toughest always seemed to be asked when we were in the vehicle driving somewhere.
I know kids can drive you nuts with all their questions, but it is a positive that they are looking to you and your husband for answers. It will pay off when they are older and they know they can come to you both.
That’s true, Arleen. What a great way to look at it. Thanks for the reminder!
I laughed so hard tears ran down my face. I can so relate. Try that on a class of six year olds. It’s like a symphony of voices all asking questions at the same time, not even hearing the others. It can boggle the mind and mangle the brain… LOL. 😀
Mangle the brain – I love it! I can think of few things more intimidating that a classroom full of 6 year olds.
I want to say that is very cute but I will stick with funny and only because I am looking in and not the one getting bombarded. Good thing for my mum I was never like that!
LOL Tim! I bet your mum might remember things differently…
Wow…we don’t have kids yet & I think I will savor my time before I seriously think of kiddos! 😉 Too funny!!
Yes, enjoy the peace and quiet while you can!
You only have two – that’s so easy – I raised seven – thanks for letting me know the reason I’ve never regained my sanity. Actually, this post is great and its wonderful how your kids know they can ask questions. Way to go Meredith.
Lenie
Seven?!? OK, you have my undying respect and admiration. I’m glad to know it’s survivable. Maybe I can survive two. 🙂
You certainly have your ‘ears’ full with the questions from your kids – the older I get the less patients I have – lol Glad your kids turn to you and your husband for guidance.
Ears full – that’s a good way to put it. I’m really glad they ask us, and despite my complaints, I hope they keep it up forever!
Meredith, I shall start using 27/6 without delay. Perhaps this is the origin of the saying “He has his mothers brains ….. fortunately I’ve still got mine “
Thanks Paul! If my children have their mother’s brains, it will be because they took them from me!
I remember those days lol. I would have to tell my son it’s quiet time just so I could get a break for a few minutes. He would literally rapid fire questions at me and I couldn’t answer them fast enough.
I love quiet time! My kids have long since outgrown the need for it, but I still enforce it for my own sanity.
That’s why moms spend a lot of time in the bathroom. But still, you get the knocking on the door and questions coming. I enjoy being fun Auntie because I can send them home at he end of the day 😉
There is no safe place in the house. They will find you. I’d love to be an aunt, that sounds like a lot of fun!
Sorry for your lack of peace during dinner. On the plus side, sounds like they’d be active bloggers.
YES! Someday this will all pay off when they’re supporting me in my old age on their thriving blogging careers.
What I think is really funny is that I kept thinking there would be less questions as they got older. Boy was I naive. At thirteen and sixteen, if my kids are in the room they are asking questions. My oldest, like yours has never encountered a conversation he didn’t want to be part of…at least between his father and I. 🙂 I know I’ll miss it terribly when they are off on their own and no longer asking questions.
Oh no! I was thinking we were getting close to the end of this phase! Oh well, I’d rather them ask me a million questions then to stop talking to me and wondering what they’re thinking, especially as they get older. 🙂
LOL.. I can relate to this on so many levels. I have witnessed my kids talk to me about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time for 45 min straight. Hey it is better that they ask us the questions than get stupid answers from their friends.
That’s the truth. I’d rather them get their stupid answers from me! 🙂
You obviously have inquisitive children. Asking questions is a sign of intelligence. How old are your children? When my children reached a certain age and would come to me with lots of questions, I would tell them to get on the computer, do a search, and find the answers themselves. Thank you. I enjoyed your post.
Thanks Michele, I console myself with the idea that it’s a sign of intelligence and healthy curiosity. 🙂 Don’t know what we’d do without google and wikipedia!
Lol meredfith. very true and interesting. Most of the questions, at some stage, start to be trick questions where your answer can nail you immediately so be careful. Also the last of your sample questions, the answer was simple. You would have said ” exactly how I am now” lol.
So true Welli! I’ve walked into quite a few setups, which make me think my kids might be smarter than me already!
Hi Meredith,
I included this in a post about laughing at parenting that went up on my blog last night. Thanks for making me laugh!
Marie @ Normal Everyday Life
Thank you Marie! I’ll go check it out. Glad it made you laugh…