Why is it so hard to pick one of the many projects in my mind and get to work? And I can't tell you how many times each day I'll be in the middle of a project, and start thinking I really should be working on something else. Do you have these problems too? Tell me I'm not alone!
I started wondering why it can be so difficult to get started, and then stick with, any particular project. I don't believe I'm truly ADHD, although that diagnosis probably wouldn't surprise my family who know me best, and love me in spite of my scattered tendencies.
(This post is part of a series on Surviving Creativity. Be sure to go back and read the first post for context!)
I've done a lot of soul searching this week about this problem. As I got really painfully honest with myself, I realized the actual problem is fear. It's not a fear of failure really, although there's some of that in there too. It's something a little harder to put a finger on.
I'm afraid that what I'm doing doesn't really matter to anyone but me.
Creative work, by definition, lives outside the box. You're doing something that no one can quite define or quantify, and in the end you want to know that your work has value. Whether that is your work as a mom, trying to make plans for your family's day, or an artist, trying to make something beautiful that people will respond to visually.
Maybe nobody will notice, appreciate, or respond to what you're trying to do.
Most of our work, as creatives, involves taking a mundane task or object and making it special somehow. Take pottery for example. We all need dishes to eat on. But the creative person thinks, "Why not design beautiful dishes that make me happy while I'm eating?"
But who's to say that anyone else really cares about eating on beautiful dishes, or would pay more for those dishes, to justify the time and effort you put into them?
That's the question that stops me in my tracks when I'm trying to pour my heart into a new project. That's also the question that gives me pause in the middle of a project, when I start to doubt all those great ideas I had at 4:00 this morning. That's the question that makes it easy to give up on a project and move on to the next one, which always momentarily promises to be more useful and impactful on the world.
In addition, there's the problem of all the daily tedium that also needs to be done. Because, let's face it, not all of our creative work is, well, creative. There are a lot of times when things just need to get done, and I usually feel like those tasks are tedious and boring. I'd rather be working on art, but the family would probably like dinner at some point. And beneath my desire to be creative lies an even stronger desire to fulfill the needs of the people I love. But paradoxically, fulfilling their needs does not usually thrill me. I wouldn't change it for the world, but being a stay at home mom can sometimes be just plain boring. I think that the reason I've turned into such a creative mess is to occasionally escape the tedium of the third load of laundry for the day.
But the truth is, big or small, what you're working on is important. Without creatives, nothing would ever be improved upon, beautified, remade, or re-imagined. So you need to keep working, but how do you decide which project should be occupying your thoughts and time at any given moment? And how do you balance your creative world with the daily barrage of Stuff-That-Needs-To-Get-Done?
How do you juggle the discrepancy between changing diapers and changing the world?
You set priorities.
Prioritizing sounds pretty boring, but once you know what you should be working on, it's a lot easier to stick to it and get it done. And prioritizing doesn't have to be so hard! I've found a quick, pain-free way to sort out your priorities so you can get down to work, and even stick with your project till the end.
This little exercise is so easy you can do it in your head, but it will help you understand why you are so passionate about that creative project that you are working on, or why it's necessary to do the task you're not so excited about. It's a simple two-step process.
- First, define the project. Let's say, for example, that you're reupholstering a chair. (If you're anything like me, you're somewhere in the middle of the project, wondering if you should be working on any of the other 16 things on your list for the day, instead of what you're doing.)
- Now, fill in the blanks of this statement:
".....(project x).... is important to ....(who).... because ....(why)....."
Your statement would look something like this. "Finishing this upholstery project is important to me because I need to write a blog post about it by Friday."
This statement breaks down the question into three parts: What, Who, and Why. Be as specific as possible, especially with the last part. The "Why" is a huge part of understanding what your priorities are, both on a daily basis, and in a more long-term, global sense.
OK, we know the what and why are important, but what's the big deal about "Who"? As creatives, we can't always be working on projects that are solely for the purpose of scratching our own creative itch. In other words, life gets in the way. Personally, my problem in answering the question, "What should I be doing right now?" is how to juggle the demands of other people on my time, along with the ideas that are in my head, trying to get out. This means that either my blog post is being written, or my dishes are getting done, but certainly not both at the same time, so I always feel that I should be working on the other, no matter which one I'm working on. I find that it helps me to define who I'm working for at any given moment. Here's another example statement:
"Doing the dishes is important to my kids because eating dinner from the pot with their hands goes against the table manners I'm trying to teach them." (In reality, this is probably not important at all to my kids, but more to me!)
Defining the "who" helps me know that I'm still doing my job as a mom, even if I feel like I should be working on my job as a blogger.
You can use this statement exercise for anything from small to huge. It could be as small as my dishes example, or as big as "Writing a book is important to me because it's something I've always wanted to do." Or "Organizing this convention is important to my company because it brings in sales."
When I start asking myself, "Is this really what I should be doing right now?" I fill out this statement in my head. Depending on the answer, I can make an educated decision about whether to keep going or move on to something else that has a more compelling answer.
It's a simple exercise, but for me it helps to know that what I'm working on is relevant. It answers the big question of "Am I making a difference?" And most importantly, it helps me establish that the task is worth the time and effort I'm putting into it. And best of all, it helps alleviate the fear that my work will fall into a black hole of oblivion. Defining who I'm working for helps me know that I'm making the right impact on the right people. Sometimes that's myself, sometimes it's the people I love, and sometimes it's a client. But either way, I know that what I'm working on has value to someone and that helps me see it through to the end.
What does fear have to do with priorities? When people are your priority, and you can define how your work will affect those people, you no longer have to be afraid that your work is irrelevant. So remove the fear and get to work!
Next week we'll look at how to sort out the multiple demands on our time, and still leave room for being creative. Check out that post on Time Management, and the following on on Finding Fulfillment. For your homework this week, try composing one of these statements whenever you question what you're working on. Then leave me a comment below and tell me what you see when you look at your statements.
Phoenicia says
I read and commented on a similar post this week! The blogger admitted to wanting to do too many things and being easily distracted in each. I resonated with much of what she had written as I do with this blog post.
I often feel bogged down by doing everyday tasks such as washing, cleaning. I too tell myself it is a part of life and will always be there. I feel selfish for wanting to do the things I enjoy. I am not a stay at home mum like you, so I run a home, raise two children with my husband, work full-time, am a church leader. It is a busy life but there will be a change that will enable me to spend more time on what I enjoy.
Academically I went through the standard education process in order to gain my degree but I am no brain box. I love English but as I was no good at art, drawing or design and technology I did not consider myself creative at all. Now I truly think I am!
Thank you.
Meredith says
Phoenicia, I think there are a lot of us struggling with this issue! It's hard to justify doing the things we enjoy for ourselves, much less find the time to do them. But as with anything else in life, it's good to find a balance. That's my challenge to myself right now! 🙂
Anita C. Lee says
And it's OK for the "who" to be YOU. In trying to be unselfish, we can sometimes neglect taking care of ourselves--and then we're not any good to anyone else.
Meredith says
So true! It's good to take some time to do what refreshes our souls, so we can have the energy to go back to taking care of those around us.
jacquiegum says
So many of the things you mention here hit home with me. Mostly n that I want my "creative" thing (writng) to have some value and not just today, but have a message that resonates for the ages. That's a lofty goal! And as such can be paralyzing. Not be constrained so much by family obligations, because I am alone, I still have stuff to get done! In some ways, it can be difficult to manage a life all by yourself! LOL But the" am I making a difference" statement is universal. Or at least it should be.
Meredith says
I agree Jacquie! Being single means you have to take care of everything yourself, and you're probably your strictest boss, right?
Havok says
Oh man, do I struggle with this one! A lot of what I struggle with is "will anyone but myself appreciate this in any way?" - but the answer to that shouldn't be important. If it's a worthwhile activity (as creative and/or crafty projects almost always are!), it shouldn't matter if it is appreciated by anyone but myself. Right now, even, I'm trying to spend as much time as possible on handmade Christmas gifts. It's a worthwhile effort, and I know they will be appreciated, and I couldn't be happier. But just a few weeks ago, I was hankering for some crafting time, with no real idea of what to do or why (beyond I wanted to). Well, that would be alright too - I'm allowed to make things for my own appreciation, ha!
And I agree 100% about the dishes thing - it's never fun, it may never seem worth it, but it *is* still important! 😀
Meredith says
You are definitely allowed to make things for your own appreciation! But you can never go wrong with handmade Christmas gifts either. That's a sure-fire way to know your work will be appreciated!
Christine B. says
While I was reading this, I kept thinking "This is so ME!" I always have these same struggles and insecurities whenever I start a project. Sometimes I'll dive right in, and then when it's complete and time to share, I start doubting everything I'd just done. I'm sorry to hear you are also in this same boat, but it's nice to hear I'm not the only one!
(And thanks for co-hosting Merry Monday with us for the next couple weeks! It's so nice having you!)
Meredith says
I agree Christine! It's nice knowing we are not alone, and hopefully we can help each other out. And I'm having a blast co-hosting Merry Monday with you ladies. Thanks!
Susan cooper says
The only fear I struggle with when it comes to my creativity is not having enough time to do, cook or create everything I want. Yikes, not enough hours in the day. Lol.
Meredith says
So true! But I'm sure if there were more hours in the day, we would just find more ways to fill them! 🙂
patweber says
I think setting priorities in creativity is also dependent on our values. I read your fill in the blanks statement:
“…..(project x)…. is important to ….(who)…. because ….(why)…..”
My why was a value, and for me values can be my highest needs. But unless I know what I value, I'll be stuck.
Great insights Meredith. Thanks!
Meredith says
You make a really great point Pat! Values can be the most important motivators, and it's good to consider them when deciding on your why. Thanks for sharing that!
heraldmarty says
You definitely aren't alone Meredith! There's an "A" list blogger whose also a bestselling author and teacher in his field who not long ago said in an interview that to this day he still has second thoughts and doubts himself every time he's about to hit the publish button. I know how he feels. I recently ran a quick unpublicized sale on one of my books and sold around 350 copies, minus one return. And you know the only thing I could think about was that one return - why?! What can I do better?! It's a curse and a blessing, but I think you've outlined some great tips!
Meredith says
I would be exactly the same way Marty! It can be so hard to appreciate the good feedback you get consistently, when a little piece of bad feedback comes along and derails it all. But 350 copies sold is great - congratulations!
Leora says
I will give this a try: "Sewing a skirt" is important to "me" because "I get the skirt that I want." It might eventually be important to my daughter if she likes one of the skirts I make and makes one for herself. I find sewing relaxing in general because it is away from the computer (I often need a break from computer stuff!).
I love reading about the trials and tribulations of creativity in general.
Meredith says
I love it Leora! I think some people do this naturally in their head. I don't know why it took me so long to come up with it! 😉
lenie5860 says
Meredith, I've printed this statement “…..(project x)…. is important to ….(who)…. because ….(why)…..” and tacked it to the bulletin board right in front of me. I think defining that is a great way to prioritize and stay focused. We all do wear so many hats that it's nice to be able to choose one at a time without worrying about the others. That statement gives each task importance. Thanks.
Meredith says
Thanks Lenie. I hope it helps! I'm curious to hear if you use it over time, and what you discover...
Ken Dowell says
I think most of us experience those doubts about the importance or relevance of what we are doing. I assume that if something is important to me there must be other people who would also find it important. But you can't always find evidence of that,
Meredith says
Ken, you may have just given me my next life motto! If it's important to me, it must be important to someone else. I really like that...
William Rusho says
I am constantly barraged with thoughts if my work means anything to anyone.
I write a novel, and the sales are dismal. I wrestled for a living, and never made it to the big time.
But then one day, a guy came up to me and mentioned he saw me wrestle when he was about 14 years old.
Someone mentioned to me that they read my book and liked it.
Sometimes it is not the MASS number of people our creativity does not need to change the world, it just needs to have an impact on one life in that world.
Meredith says
I can totally relate William! And I love your philosophy that we only need to impact one person. It just would be easier sometimes if the masses rose up and cheered us on!
Beth Niebuhr says
In these days of multitasking and always being connected, it is just plain difficult. We all get seduced by bright shiny objects. The only way I cope is to schedule times when the important things need to be done and I ignore everything else. Put my mind just on one track, which isn't easy. I also don't like to plan ahead but I need to.
Meredith says
Yes, multitasking is a huge problem for me! I think I need to work on single-tasking. Maybe that will be my next post! Thanks Beth!
iknead2knit says
Great post!
Meredith says
Thanks!
Pamela@haartfelt says
God, I could write a book here! But I'll spare your readers. You wondered whether you have ADHD tendencies. I'm a creative person with major ADHD. A misconception people have about ADHD is that we can't attend or sit still for a long period of time. That's not the issue with ADHD , our issue is we "over attend" and have difficulty transitioning between tasks. A good example of this is trying to pull a child with ADD away from a video game. Because over attending is the problem, planning and scheduling is a weakness for people with ADHD, chronic lateness, projects not completed, etc. I actually found that when my children were younger, it help me stay more balanced because I'm also "type A" responsible, So their routine structured my day because of it's purpose and importance.Which brings me to making a suggestion about the great exercise you posted. To say I want to ( complete the project ) because ( I have a blog post) is a reason but not a true purpose.Purpose motivates us. Sometimes we don't give things we enjoy or feel a passion about enough purpose and we wind up feeling guilty about spending too much on it. But to say I want to finish the project, so I can write my blog post because writing my post allows me to share my creativity and a part of who I am while helping others who may want to design but have no clue where to start.(that would be me) 🙂 gives it a true purpose.
Meredith says
You SHOULD write a book! 😉 That's a very interesting and important distinction about ADHD that I think most people misunderstand. And I totally agree with you about purpose! Without understanding your true purpose it's hard to follow through on anything. I should probably be more specific about that if I ever incorporate this series into a book...
Andy says
"Maybe nobody will notice, appreciate, or respond to what you’re trying to do."
As I see it, creative work is a 'covenant' between you and your muse, and that is all: everyone else is superfluous. To put it another way, finishing that upholstery project was important to you because your muse would have taken you out to the woodshed had you failed to do so - at least that's what would have happened with me and my muse! (Of course, it's also true that your chair would have been deeply heartbroken had you not re-upholstered it, and we all know that you would not want that to happen.)
Meredith says
Andy, I always love to hear your perspective! I like the idea of a covenant, where everyone else's opinions are secondary. I'm going to ponder that concept while I sit in my comfy, happy, reupholstered chair.
Jeannette Paladinoj says
I like your formula. At this stage I think most of the projects I undertake would end after because "I want the money I earn to buy a "fill in the blank." I'm no longer building a career. I blog and work for the fun and stimulation. But my motivation is that if I finish this project I will have the extra money to do xyz. Pretty good motivation!
Meredith says
That IS good motivation! At least it always works for me! 😉
Tim says
I have the same problem Meredith where I chop and change projects as I look for greener pastures. I do think though, that doing a project solely for oneself is the way to go. If others get on board then that's gravy but starting out as a goal to complete a project that brings you happiness should be the foundation to everything.
Meredith says
I agree Tim. Others' opinions are too fickle. If you base your worth or success on whether people appreciate what you're doing, you'll often be disappointed. And that goes for everything from cooking dinner to painting masterpieces!
Audrey@That Recipe says
"Most of our work, as creatives, involves taking a mundane task or object and making it special somehow." Loved this article! and so true.
Thanks for sharing on the #HomeMattersParty. I hope you will join us next week too.
Meredith says
Thank you Audrey! I'll definitely be there!