The Palette Muse

menu icon
go to homepage
  • DIY
    • Home Improvement
    • Home Maintenance
    • DIY with Paint
    • DIY Decor
    • Cabinets
    • Furniture
    • Camper
    • Makeovers
    • Tips
    • Tools
    • $100 Room Challenge
  • Crafts
    • Painting Crafts
    • Paper Crafts
    • Fabric and Yarn
    • Wreaths and Banners
    • Handmade Gifts
    • Christmas
    • Art
  • Design
    • Color
    • House Flipping
    • Home Staging
    • Bathroom
    • Bedroom
    • Home Office
    • Kitchen Design
    • Home Decorating
    • Outdoor Decor
  • Organizing
    • Airbnb
    • Cleaning
    • Planners and Worksheets
    • Printables
    • Saving Money
  • Family
    • Recipes
    • Camping
    • Creativity
    • Faith
    • Holidays
    • Musings
  • Printables
    • Get the Newsletter
  • About Me
    • Work With Me
      • Affiliate Disclosure
      • Disclosures & Disclaimers
      • Privacy Policy

subscribe
search icon
Homepage link
  • DIY
    • Home Improvement
    • Home Maintenance
    • DIY with Paint
    • DIY Decor
    • Cabinets
    • Furniture
    • Camper
    • Makeovers
    • Tips
    • Tools
    • $100 Room Challenge
  • Crafts
    • Painting Crafts
    • Paper Crafts
    • Fabric and Yarn
    • Wreaths and Banners
    • Handmade Gifts
    • Christmas
    • Art
  • Design
    • Color
    • House Flipping
    • Home Staging
    • Bathroom
    • Bedroom
    • Home Office
    • Kitchen Design
    • Home Decorating
    • Outdoor Decor
  • Organizing
    • Airbnb
    • Cleaning
    • Planners and Worksheets
    • Printables
    • Saving Money
  • Family
    • Recipes
    • Camping
    • Creativity
    • Faith
    • Holidays
    • Musings
  • Printables
    • Get the Newsletter
  • About Me
    • Work With Me
      • Affiliate Disclosure
      • Disclosures & Disclaimers
      • Privacy Policy

×

What Nobody Will Tell You About How to Pick the Perfect Gray

Modified: Aug 18, 2021 · This post may contain affiliate links · 26 Comments

  • Share
  • Email
  • Print

Picking the perfect gray for the walls of your home might be harder than you thought. Here's why.

Today I'm going to take off my amateur "DIY Blogger" hat, and put on my professional "Designer and Color Expert" hat for just a moment, because I want to share with you some information that's been bugging me. And when I say bugging me, I mean on a deep, anxiety-producing, sleep-disturbing, personal level.

Today I want to talk about picking the right gray color for your home. Gasp. Why is that so personal, you ask? Well, it's because I feel like my reputation is on the line when I'm picking colors for my house, and right now I'm having the darnedest time picking the right gray.

As I've been going through this process for my own house, I've also been thinking about all the information out there in blogland and on The truth about picking the perfect gray

So, what is the one thing that nobody will tell you about picking the perfect gray?

You can't.

There is no such thing as the perfect gray.

And that, my friends, is good news. And bad news. But mostly good news, and here's why.

Once you adjust your expectations, stop believing one color can solve all your (color) problems, and learn how to pick a color that is closest to perfect for you, then you'll be a lot happier with the results once the paint is on the wall.

Gray is tricky.

Gray is all the rage right now, and I believe it is here to stay, at least as much as my mom thought painting her living room mustard yellow to go with her amazing avocado green brocade couch was going to be the "right" color forever. But back to gray...

Let's talk a little color theory first. You may remember learning the color wheel in elementary school. While I didn't yet understand it at the time, over the years I've come to learn this fundamental truth from the color wheel: Colors are relational. Every color is affected by the colors around it. No color is an island, either in nature, or in decorating.Color Wheel

The second reality about color is something you've probably encountered yourself in your own home. Every color is affected, and actually defined, by light. Without sharing all the scientific reasons for this (mostly because I don't know them), let me just say that light creates and changes every color it touches.

What does this mean for you, as you try to pick the perfect color for your wall? It means you need to take into account the other colors in the room, as well as the light sources. It also means you need to realize that when the light changes, as it does throughout the day, the colors on your wall will change too.

This is why I say you can't pick the perfect gray. You might pick one that you love in natural light, but not so much in artificial light. During the day it looks like you expected, but then when the lights come on at night it's not quite the same.

Knowing this in advance gives you the freedom to pursue which setting you prefer. Are you mostly home at night? Then consider how your color looks in artificial light and choose one that makes you happiest at night. Are you a stay-at-home-mom like me? Then, for the love, pick something that makes you happiest during the day. Your kids will thank you.

Gray: the color that isn't a color.

These two truths apply especially to gray (as well as other neutral colors) because it is a blank slate. It literally feeds off the other colors and light sources around it and behaves differently in each setting.

Let me tell you a little story to illustrate. When we moved into our new house, I immediately started painting. Nothing makes me feel more at home that putting my own stamp of color on the walls.

For my living room, I chose a deep shade of teal, surrounded by two grays. I picked the most neutral grays I could find in the color decks, and happily started painting. But those neutral gray walls, with north-facing windows, and big sea of teal on one wall, might as well be light blues.

Dark teal wall behind couch, next to gray wall.

I like the effect, and I'm sticking with it (at least for now) but I really should have known better. And that's why I feel the need to share this truth with you: there is no perfect gray.

There will be a shade that perfectly suits you, but don't let anyone else tell you what it should be, unless you have the same house, situated in the same direction relative to the sun, with all the same colors and accents.

How to pick the right gray for you.

So all this color theory begs the question, how do you go about picking the right gray for you? By all means, surf Pinterest, read the articles, look at a million paint swatches, but here are a few tips to keep in mind as you're doing so.Gray color options in different color palettes.

  1. What direction do your room's windows face? Direct sunlight gives off a warmer glow than indirect. If you can actually see the sun from your window, that means you have direct sunlight and your gray color will look a little less blue. If you can't actually see the sun out your window, then you have indirect light and the color will seem bluer. (Is that a word?)
  2. What types of light do you use in the room? Natural light tends to be cooler than incandescent light (traditional light bulbs). However, LED's and certain other energy-efficient lights also give off cooler light than incandescent bulbs, so you need to know what you're using at night. Does your lamp give off a warm glow? Then it will make your gray look a little warmer, toward the neutral or brown end of the spectrum.
  3. What other colors are you using in the room, and how much space do they cover? If you have a giant teal accent wall like me, it's going to drive the color in the whole room (and spilling into the hallway) towards the blue side of the color wheel. You may be better off going with a taupe than a true gray, if you don't want your gray to skew blue.

In case you need a quick refresher... the cool colors are blue, green, and most purples, and warm colors are red, orange, and yellow.

Happily, when the sun is down and the lamps are on, my living room turns out to be the perfect color of gray. Exactly what I was going for. So I make it a habit to sit in there most evenings and congratulate myself on doing such a great job picking colors.

[bctt tweet="I've come to learn this fundamental truth from the color wheel: Colors are relational." username="thepalettemuse"]

Now that I've gotten this off my chest, I'm heading to the paint store to start over with my color plan for my kitchen, since I learned so much from my living room. Soon, I'll be sharing (what I hope will be) a cohesive color scheme for my whole house.

That way, if you have the same floor plan, lighting situation, and tastes as me you can just use one of my grays as your perfect gray!What no one will tell you about picking the perfect gray.

In the meantime, do you have questions about color? I'd love to help. Let me know in the comments below and I'll do my best to keep you from making my same mistakes.

More Color

  • Turquoise and terracotta complement each other in this Southwestern inspired turquoise color palette.
    Turquoise Color Palette
  • warm amethyst color palette with shades of purple and very faint orange.
    Warm Amethyst Color Palette
  • Rose quartz color palette based on an image of quartz crystals with light pinks, coral, and muted lilac colors.
    Rose Quartz Color Palette and Some Thoughts on Why We Need Color
  • opal color palette
    Opal Color Palette and Endless Possibilities

Comments

  1. Anita C. Lee says

    June 03, 2016 at 5:22 pm

    Perhaps the fact that you spent your earliest days in a bassinet with lemon, lime and orange accented fabric has colored your thinking. Hmmmm, I wonder how my present sofas would look next to mustard yellow walls...

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      June 08, 2016 at 9:37 am

      Well, I do love yellow! But just probably not quite so much of it. 🙂

      Reply
  2. jacquiegum says

    June 04, 2016 at 4:14 am

    Gray has always been tricky, especially now that it is the go to color. Even the spelling..is it grey or gray??? But I do like that it is mostly neutral and benefits from a splash of almost any color!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      June 08, 2016 at 9:38 am

      I agree Jacquie! I think it's so popular because it makes a great backdrop to just about any color you want to use.

      Reply
    • Patricia Kramer says

      March 29, 2021 at 6:59 am

      @jacquiegum, gray with an e is English and with an a is American! Easy peasy 🙂

      Reply
  3. C.D. Loken says

    June 04, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    Your post couldn't have come at a better time for me, Meredith! We seriously just painted our living room Pebble Gray-which is the exact same color as we painted our dining room! I was surprised to see that in the dining room the color appears more blue toned than in the living room. Of course we have a lot more natural light in the living room-so thanks to your post-that now makes sense!! BTW- I love the gray you chose for your living room!! 🙂

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      June 08, 2016 at 9:40 am

      Thanks C.D.! I'm always surprised at how differently colors act in different settings. Just a little different lighting, or even angle of the windows can turn the same color into a whole different one. I saw your dining room in your Chandelier post, and it's gorgeous!

      Reply
  4. Luana Lewis says

    June 04, 2016 at 8:24 pm

    I really like the pattern of your drapes in the LR! Also, thank you for the info concerning grey! I really enjoy your blog!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      June 08, 2016 at 9:40 am

      Thanks Luana! It's always great to see you here!

      Reply
  5. Susan Cooper/findingourwaynow.com says

    June 06, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    Hi Meredith, I think the right shade of gray would be so difficult to pick id just shy away from it entirely. My luck I'd paint an entire room only to find out the lighting made it look like the rain cloud hanging over Eeyore's head or the dirty cloud around Pigpen's feet. Would sure hate to have to repaint. Its not my strong suit. Lol

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      June 08, 2016 at 9:42 am

      Hi Susan, you wouldn't be alone! Gray can be tricky, and does sometimes end up looking kind of sad. (Love your Eeyore and Pigpen analogy!) Nothing like having to repaint a room you just painted!

      Reply
  6. Jeri Walker (@JeriWB) says

    June 06, 2016 at 9:35 pm

    I'm quite taken by grays and have done a steely accent wall in each of my extra bedrooms. Next up, I hope to tackle two walls in the living room with the same color. I even like various shades of cement. Always have.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      June 08, 2016 at 9:42 am

      Me too Jeri. Would love to see what you end up doing!

      Reply
  7. Lorraine says

    June 23, 2016 at 7:12 pm

    You should have required this post as homework reading before we met. I'm going to share this with Mike. So helpful, thank you.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      June 28, 2016 at 8:04 am

      Ha! You're right, I should have thought of that! I had so much fun helping you with your choices. Hope they're coming together beautifully!

      Reply
  8. Beverly Price says

    July 11, 2016 at 5:35 am

    This is a great resource! I have been redecorating and thinking of ways to incorporate grey and it’s been difficult to say the least. I think this will help me pick a perfect one for my living room. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      July 12, 2016 at 1:45 pm

      I'm so glad Beverly! Gray turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be, but now I'm so happy with the finished product. Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
  9. Rita says

    October 07, 2017 at 7:03 pm

    I have wanted white kitchen and bathroom cabinets. This is time consuming but hope it works as well as you say

    Reply
  10. Wing says

    January 03, 2018 at 10:53 pm

    I wish I saw your post before selectng paint colours. We have the EXACT same living room. The grey definetly turned out more blue. I wish I had bought a sampler to try first before investing the time and effort into now a blue-grey.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      January 11, 2018 at 11:35 am

      I can totally relate! It's easy to accidentally pick a more blue shade, especially if you have a lot of blue colors in the room.

      Reply
  11. Kaye says

    August 26, 2021 at 2:32 pm

    Your article made me laugh and cry!! I have been pulling my hair out over grey!! Too blue! Too green! Too dark!! Too light!
    Trying to find one that will go with my, are you ready, yellow tile with black trim on half the walls in my kitchen. kitchen!!! I can’t afford to rip the yellow tile out! Originally it was wallpapered above tile & I have been living with what remains of pulled off wallpaper!!! Wish I could attaché a picture.
    Kaye ….lost in grey

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      September 08, 2021 at 11:44 am

      I feel your pain Kaye! I've seen some good tutorials for painting over tile. Maybe that would help?

      Reply
  12. Stephen Quartarone says

    November 09, 2021 at 7:31 pm

    I recently had my walls painted with “PPG Cool Slate” which is a soft gray with amethyst undertone … which has more of a purple undertone that we would like to be frank. We were looking for a gray that was warm, but the amethyst undertone is just too tinted…

    Any suggestions for decor to help the “gray” come out of the walls more than the amethyst?

    Thanks!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      December 06, 2021 at 1:59 pm

      Hi Stephen, I think that will depend somewhat on what other colors you have in the room. If you use warmer toned accent colors, like golds and tans, that might help. You could also try using warmer colored lightbulbs.

      Reply
  13. Jennifer says

    September 19, 2022 at 3:00 am

    I want to paint my hall bathroom grey with black cabinets and a deep, burnt orange shower curtain. I don't want blue- grey. I have no window or natural light source. The lightning is traditional bulbs. Any suggestions? And thank you in advance!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      September 19, 2022 at 10:22 am

      Hi Jennifer, yes I do have an idea for you! I like Anew Gray by Sherwin Williams. It's a good neutral that doesn't lean blue, especially with traditional light bulbs. If you're worried about it being too dark, you could also try Agreeable Gray. It's the same family but a shade lighter. Good luck!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Welcome!

I'm Meredith, the designer, crafter, and DIY-er behind The Palette Muse. I love all things colorful and creative, and I love sharing them with you. Thanks for visiting today!

More about me

Popular

  • The Best Way to Paint Kitchen Cabinets (No Sanding!)
  • What I Wish I'd Known about Double Barn Doors
  • How to Paint Laminate Cabinets
    How to Paint Laminate Cabinets without Sanding
  • How to Make Your Own Simple Chair Covers

Seasonal

  • New Mexican Hot Chocolate Recipe
    New Mexican Hot Chocolate Recipe
  • Our Latest Flip House Before and After
    Our Latest Flip House Project - Before and After
  • Under Cabinet Lighting You Can do Yourself
    How to Choose and Install the Best Under Cabinet Lighting for your Kitchen
  • Refresh your home for spring with these unique etsy finds
    Give Your Home a Spring Refresh with These Unique Home Decor Finds

Footer

↑ back to top

About

  • Privacy Policy

Newsletter

  • Sign Up! for emails and updates

Contact

  • Work With Me

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Copyright © 2025 The Palette Muse

  • Pinterest
  • Facebook
  • Email