This morning, as I was driving back to the house from the grocery store, to retrieve the list that I only realized I had forgotten as I was walking into said grocery store, after finding the only parking spot in the parking lot, I was reminded of something a new friend said to me recently. She said, and I quote,
"I read your blog before I met you and I thought you were this perfect mom and designer, who has it all together, and I thought 'She would never be friends with someone like me'."
I also had another friend tell me he had thought I was the organized and efficient one (between me and my husband) and he was shocked to discover that he had us backwards. I asked him what would give him such a silly notion, and he replied, "Well, I read your blog before I really knew you."
Apparently, I've been misleading all of you, so I thought I should take a few moments to point out some realities that may not usually show up here on the blog.
This falls under the category of "Don't compare your outtakes to someone else's highlight reel." (I don't know who said that, but I think it really applies to the world of blogging, where we put our best projects on display, and don't tell you about how we snapped at our kids while we were trying to finish that project, or how we had to try it 3 different ways before getting it right, as I did with my last project, the No-Sew Bunk Bed Tent.
Those of you who know me already will likely know these things about me (thanks for being my friend anyway!) and those of you who don't already know me should be warned of what you're getting into. So here it is - my confession. My list of reasons you may not want me as a friend. Or at the very least, a good warning label for the whole blog...
Why I would be the world's worst superhero:
- I am completely unorganized. All those organizing tips I throw out in the blog? A desperate attempt to create some order and predictability in my life, if for no other reason than for the sanity and well-being of my kids and hubby.
- Closely related, but deserving of its own category...I cannot make or keep a schedule. If I had a nickel for every time my husband told me a schedule would make things would be easier for me and the kids (and I suspect he's too tactful to include himself too), I'd be rich. If I could remember where I put all those nickels.
- I'm terrible at follow-through. If I were a superhero, you can bet my cape would often be wadded up in a moldy heap in the dryer because I washed it and forgot to turn on the dryer. Or forgot to take it out when it was done. Or forgot to wash it in the first place.
- I love my kids, but I'm pretty sure I'm not a great mom. Someday their therapy bills will reflect this truth. In the meantime, I try not to inflict too many of my own insecurities and prejudices upon them, but am reminded daily of my failure in this endeavor. I claim the small victories, like when they appreciate the dinner I made them (even though it came from a box, with no mention of the words "organic" or "low-fat" anywhere on it) or when they get to bed on time (even though I forgot to check whether my daughter turned off her light, only to find her still reading at 11 p.m. when I'm heading to bed).
- Ditto for my husband. He'd probably like to see more of my face, instead of my back sitting at my computer, telling stories about him and the kids. At least I married well. Not only does he put up with me, but he actually seems to kind of enjoy being with me. That's probably a better endorsement of his character than mine.
- Superheros sacrifice themselves for the greater good. My idea of the greater good is a larger cup of coffee and a bigger cookie to go with it. Do I get points for sacrificing my diet?
- I am lazy. My doctor recently told me I should take a little break from strenuous cardio exercise and I almost hugged him. Instead I feigned disappointment and said something silly like "I'll just take up pilates." Today, with the best of intentions, I put on my yoga pants (which provided the added benefit of not having to wear real pants) and drove to the gym, but decided to go out for coffee and scones instead because the parking lot looked kind of full.
- I'm only kind of good at all the things that I do. Art, design, DIY projects, running a business. I'm really good at being just good enough to get things done, but not really good enough to change the world. If I were a superhero, my superpower would probably be mediocrity. I bet I could be pretty good at some things, if it weren't for my point mentioned directly above.
- I'm not even a good writer, although I hope you're occasionally entertained. I mean, have you been counting the run-on and fragment sentences in this post alone? I hope not!
- Oh wait, there is one thing I'm really good at. Procrastination. My husband says I've elevated it to an art form. Someday maybe I'll write a book about how to procrastinate effectively. If I ever get around to it.
- And finally, I have lots of ideas, but usually can't keep a thought in my head for long enough to do much about it. I don't know if it's ADD or early-onset-dementia, but my memory seems to be worse than ever. Like most things, I blame it on the children. I'm pretty sure I had a good memory before them, but then, how would I know?
So if you're thinking of being my friend, but are intimidated by my apparent awesomeness, fear no more. You are probably twice the woman I'll ever be and I'd be improving my station in life if you allowed yourself to be seen with me. If you're thinking of hiring me for a design job, I'd think again if I were you. But on the plus side, I may completely forget to bill you for the job, so maybe it's not such a bad gig for you.
At the very least, don't make the mistake of reading this blog and thinking that I am somehow more with-it than I really am. I'm no superhero, but I do occasionally have a flash of inspiration. Now, if I can just sit still long enough to capture it here, then thanks for reading it. And as always, I'll tell you what I tell my kids: do as I say, not as I do!
Sidenote: my friend who I quoted at the top of this post is an incredibly sweet, loving, generous, and all-around fabulous person, and I've often thought the same of her, "Why would she want to be friends with me?" I guess it just goes to show that we all have a bit of insecurity and the tendency to think others have more than we have. I bet even Superman thought he'd never stand a chance with Lois. Maybe life would be better if we just tried being friends more, and worrying less about what others think? Just an idea...maybe my best one yet.
fclark7 says
Love this post! I think you wrote it for me - in fact, probably described me to a "T"! But it has me thinking - maybe if you can have a successful blog - maybe I can too!!! I have been thinking about doing it for year's but always came up with excuses like: not a good enough writer, I always start things but don't finish, I'm sooo unorganized, I'm a grand procrastinator. Need I go on? Thanks for being real!
Meredith says
You can! If I can do it, surely you can too. 🙂 It's definitely been challenging for me to stay on top of my bad habits and keep writing, even when I don't feel like it. Thanks for commenting, and stop back by and let me know if you start that blog...
Renea says
Thanks for saying what I am sure a lot of us feel! Loved it!!!
Meredith says
Thanks Renea! Glad to know I'm not the only one! 🙂
Jeri Walker (@JeriWB) says
This is a wonderfully self-deprecating post and makes you all the more cool in my eyes. When I used to teach I would always point out to students that I used to cry when I was in graduate school and through the MLA guidebook across the room when I couldn't figure out how to site a source. They couldn't believe it since I never get mad...
Meredith says
Thanks Jeri! I think we all have a little bit of book-thrower in us, no matter how well we've learned to grow up and "be mature" and it's good to let people see a glimpse of it every now and then...
Dori says
This. Was. AWESOME!!! That is all...
Meredith says
Awwww, thank you Dori! You made my day!
jacquiegum says
Welcome to the human race:) The idea that you can see and laugh at these very minor flaws, elevates you all the more in my eyes. You are MY super hero!
Meredith says
Thank you Jacquie! I love that - welcome to the human race. 🙂 Thanks for always making me smile!
Kristy says
Oh, my humble friend! You underestimate your true awesomeness. You're authentic, sincere, and incredibly talented, and I appreciate your randomness, which is just quite simply how God made you. ;0)
Meredith says
Thank you my sweet friend! I can't tell you how much that means to me! 🙂
Johanna says
Meredith! I love this post! I definitely feel like I'm privileged to be your friend, even if you don't categorize yourself as a super hero. If you were a super hero, you'd probably always be off busy saving lives or something and never have time to just hang and chat with me. 😉
Meredith says
You're so sweet Johanna! I feel the same. And frankly I'm glad I'm not a superhero, because I'd much rather have time to hang out and chat!
Sabrina Q. says
Great post! I love the honesty. I feel that bloggers should have a caution at the bottom of the site that says: Remember: nothing is perfect off the bat. It takes time and energy to do any job well, even blogging. Thanks for a great post.
Meredith says
Thanks Sabrina and I agree! Blogs should come with a warning label!
William Rusho says
Some of those things you mentioned apply to me too.
I am such a procrastinator, that I would never get anything done if I did not have someone remind me to do it.
Always enjoy reading your blog!.
Meredith says
Thanks William! Procrastinators unite!
Marquita Herald (@marquitaherald) says
Great article Meredith! I recall someone in one of my workshops on managing transitions blurt out at me "You can't know how I feel because you've never had to deal with the kinds of problems I have!" And I just smiled at her as ran a quick mental rerun of my life and the various traumas and dramas and thought to myself, "Honey, anytime you want to compare notes, you just let me know." But of course I just assumed my friendly 'coach' face and went about soothing her jangled nerves. You never really know other people as well as you think you do. 🙂
Meredith says
That's so true, Marquita! Its good to hear from other people who have been through similar experiences, otherwise, you don't know if the advice they are giving you has any bearing on your own life.
Susan Cooper/findingourwaynow.com says
What a wonderful post. I knew I liked you for a reason. You are the best. I cry at the most amusing things and sometimes for no apparent reason. It would confuse people so I found my blundering about what may have caused that reaction. the best explanation I could give was "I'm just a softy that way I guess."
Meredith says
Oh Susan, you just made my day! It's an endearing quality, to wear your heart on your sleeve like that. Don't feel bad about being a softy!
Donna Janke says
I loved this post. It makes me want to know you more. Love the humour and the honesty. You obviously get past a lot of the disorganization to put out great posts. I really like the phrase: Don’t compare your outtakes to someone else’s highlight reel. I think we all tend to do that at times and wind up feeling dissatisfied with ourselves as a result.
Meredith says
Awww, thanks Donna! I always love that quote too, especially when reading some of the amazing blogs out there and feeling that I'll never live up to such a high standard.
Ken Dowell says
My favorite story is the one about going to the gym but seeing that the parking lot was kind of full, deciding to go for coffee instead. Sometimes I go to Liberty State Park with my son on weekend mornings and take a long bike ride along the Hudson River near the Statue of Liberty. Lest it sound too wholesome and healthy, we stop at the midway point and have an enormous brunch. Mine if often fired chicken and waffles and usually includes a Bloody Mary. But if you only see me riding my bike....
Meredith says
I love it! Chicken and waffles might just motivate me to get on my bike!
lenie5860 says
Meredith - will you please be my friend? I love this post and you - anyone who can entertain people by listing their so-called flaws is tops in my book. What a lovely way to start the day.
Meredith says
Yes! You're too sweet Lenie! Thanks for "getting" me. 🙂
Andy says
"Oh wait, there is one thing I’m really good at. Procrastination."
Quite. As far as I am aware, Meredith, you STILL have not uploaded a video of that gingerbread house party you wrote about a few months ago. I for one see through your ruse. 😉
Andy says
Hmmm, I just searched your blog for "gingerbread" and didn't find what I was looking for. If I am mistaking your blog for another blog, I apologize.
Meredith says
No worries Andy! I may have said that, but I can't even remember, so we'll call it even. 🙂 The problem with procrastination is it sometimes turns into forgetfulness!
Tim says
That was a great post and forget the noise about you not writing well; you had me engaged from the first word. Your list of why others should think twice about being your friend makes you that much more friend-worthy. Honesty and self deprecation are great qualities when in check. Blogs are for highlight reels but those that add some personal truths really knock it out of the park...you did that.
Meredith says
Thanks so much Tim! If it's engaging and makes people smile, then I call that a good day's writing!
Krystyna Lagowski (@klagowski) says
Oh, so I see - you're actually human like the rest of us! I think most people are guilty of all the items you're listing here. Such a huge part of being a writer is mastering the art of procrastination. And of course, we all look lazy by comparison with some of our friends who seem to effortlessly multi-task. We're all plagued with self-doubts, insecurities, and feeling like frauds. It's what keeps us honest!
Meredith says
So true Krystyna! What's with all those overachievers? I guess they're probably human too, and we just don't always see it. Here's to staying honest!
Pamela Chollet says
I love your post-Meredith. Do you know every time I open my pantry door I think of your "organizing my pantry" post. I say to myself, "Why can't I get it together like Meredith?" You do project a glowing essence of,"I got this life thing down." But as I read more of your posts I believe you're truly a very happy person who loves her life and the people in it.
Meredith says
Thanks Pamela! That's really funny to hear that you compare yourself to me when you open your pantry! But I think you've got me pegged pretty accurately. I do love my life and my peeps. Life is good, and it's good to just be yourself!
Christine Larsen says
I'm a great starter Meredith - have been for years! And there are a large number of things I have actually successfully completed. BUT... I think we 'won't go there' and visit all the UFO's (unfinished objects) that fill cupboards and boxes, etc. etc.
Now you've given me another excuse to use - why my name isn't Superwoman either. From the comments above, there's a legion of us unheroic types. How nice to be part of such illustrious company!
Meredith says
I love that - UFO's. I'm totally going to start calling mine that! And you're right, I consider myself in very good company here with you guys!
Anna Khan says
Hello Meredith
Simply love it.
I love the way you write and I think this is truly like a human. I hope that there can be super heroes but there are not.
It great to be human and learn gradually.
As you have written about projects with kids, now a days (1 week holidays) I am doing different projects with my daughter and all time, I am thinking something else and change the way she wants.
All the best with your life and I hope you will be little bit careful towards health and visits to Dr.
Meredith says
Thank you Anna! I think the best superheroes are those that are simply human and doing their best, like you doing projects with your daughter. You're a superhero to her!
Jason @ TheButlerJournal.com says
Excellent post. Nobody is perfect. We all have things that we wish we were better at. I know I do. My list would probably be longer than yours.
Meredith says
You're so right, nobody's perfect. We just try to be a little better today than we were yesterday...
Amy Kelsch says
Hi Meredith,
I am new to your blog- it is fantastic. This post made me smile- love your writing. You can mark that down as one of your superhero skills! 🙂 Following on Bloglovin and sharing some Sverve love!
Meredith says
Hi Amy, it's so nice to meet you and thank you! Glad to make you smile, and I'm heading over to return the love! 🙂
Erica says
Oh my gosh, this was so cute. And I really can't believe you aren't as organized as you appear. You totally have become my model of organization! Ah, we are all perfectly imperfect. It is our perfection that gives us the expertise we share in our blogs. It is our imperfection that allows us to connect with our readers as real human beings.
Oh, and I was in the supermarket a few months ago and passed one of my weight loss clients holding nothing but a bag of chips and something else not so good. Oops.
Meredith says
Oh dear, that scares me that I'm a model of organization to anyone! Sure you don't want to rethink that? 🙂 I like that - perfectly imperfect. And I had to laugh at your client with the junk food. Busted!
Erica says
Just to clarify, it was me holding the junk food, not my innocent client. Blah.
Meredith says
Oh that's funny! That makes a MUCH better story!
Mina Joshi says
Brave of you to confess!!! We all are imperfect but hide it well. All my colleagues think that I am a calm person with a sense of humour. I keep telling them that I am not and they should speak to my children who have seen me loose my calm.
Meredith says
I can relate to that! Why is it that children are such experts at getting us to lose our calm? I'm sure mine could tell you a few stories...
Beth Niebuhr says
We all probably seem to be different from what we really are when people only know us from our blog posts. Last week my post was about making a big mistake and then admitting it. I guess it must be in the air - letting people know that we have faults!
Meredith says
Maybe it has something to do with spring cleaning, airing out our dirty laundry? It's good to be able to admit your mistakes.
Life With Lorelai says
Being able to be truthful with ones self only makes you stronger. Sounds like a superhero to me! Thanks for sharing at the #HomeMattersParty - we hope to see you again next week. 🙂
~Lorelai
Life With Lorelai
Meredith says
Thanks Lorelai, I'll definitely be there!